i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
