Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
