i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
pray to the hookup gods
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
