i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
