I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
