fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The power of my boobs compel you
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
