my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I hope mine doesn't look like that
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
