why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
