There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
