OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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