I feel like I'm in dance class right now
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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