I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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