I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
