Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so let's talk penis.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
