last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
