with your own penis?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
