Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
