grandma shit on top of the toilet
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
