way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
