Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
