its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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