maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
