lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
