i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
