i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
