Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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