I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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