She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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