I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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