are you still at the devil's house?
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
