My hand turned me down
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
