Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
