I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Your penis caused this!
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