I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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