Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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