great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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