when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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