so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
