I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
