Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
