i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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