Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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