Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
