he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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