are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
