It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
