trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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