Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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