I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
