If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
