so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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