Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I want a musical about memes.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
